10
Feb
08

Super Bowl Running Diary

Time for a Super Bowl Running Diary! We’ve got buffalo wings, cheesy bread, ribs, cole slaw, chips, soda, beer and left over birthday cake. Let the fun begin.

5:40 Jimmy Johnson says the Giants have to play a really good game. Astounding.

5:55 There is a terrifying segment going on. There were colonial Patriots which became  Jim Brown, Peyton Manning and Tony Dungy. The big takeaway here….Peyton Manning made it back to the super bowl!

6:10 The politics angle being heavily relied upon. I wonder if Obama and Clinton are going to wear helmets on Super Tuesday

6:13 Junior Seau looking younger than ever. Fun fact #1 of the night. Junior Seau was cut a couple of years ago by the terrible Miami Dolphins. Now he’s a major cog on a super bowl participant. You know HGH, the performance enhancing drug is also used at anti-aging clinics. Just a fun fact, that’s all.

6:17 17-year-old Jordan Sparks sings the national anthem. My friend is taken by her looks. I’ll withhold his name to make it more difficult for authorities.

6:24 Jason Taylor receives the Walter Payton Man of the Year award. His trophy you ask? A Magneto doll.

6:26 Giants win the coin toss!

6:27 Troy Aikman showing off his Super Bowl success. Dan Marino just raised his head somewhere in a bar and gave him the finger.

6:32 Who needs to practice when you’re Plaxico Burress. First down Gigantes!

6:36 Breathing fire commercial leaves much to be desired.

6:37 Audi commercial was great. Godfather reference and an amazing car.

6:40 Bradshaw wasn’t there for the previous clash with the Pats. He’s making his presence felt early on. First down Giants.

6:42 Me and my friend Bongo both yell “Oh Beautiful!” when describing a first down conversion for the Giants. Who said sports is barbaric?

6:43 6’4 250 pound Brandon Jacobs attempts to do a finesse run. Needless to say it didn’t end well.

6:44 Field goal Giants. Has to be disappointing though.

6:46 Two ladies in our party make their loudest noise of the night at a Chris Kattan cameo. Easy to please those two.

6:47 43-yard return by Maroney. Great field position for the Pats.

6:49 The game has changed! It all starts today! You are the new prototypes. We are under-armour! The future is ours! New under-armour commercial has me pumped. Next time I’ll be wearing them while I type.

6:50 Double reverse screen fails for the Pats. Interesting play call. I would have gone with the triple-reverse flea flicker. But that’s just me.

6:52 Brady with all the time in the world on an incompletion. That doesn’t bode well for the Giants. If they don’t pressure him, Brady will carve them up.

6:56 A run of jokes that I can’t write about took me away from the diary. The Patriots moving down field much to my chagrin.

6:59 “A message from your heart” song is playing. She won a Doritos competition. Here’s a message from my heart. This song is terrible.

7:01 Touchdown Patriots. Woo-hoo team of destiny.

7:03 After seeing Jeter’s commercial I can’t help but want G-2, a low-calorie hydrator.

7:09 38-yard bomb to Toomer looked amazing.

7:12 Wow Eli is intercepted.

7:16 Patriots go three and out. The Giants dodge a bullet on their first turnover.

7:19 Leatherheads commercial made me chuckle. I think its because George Clooney is so dreamy.

7:21 Giants catch a break. Somehow they take away a fumble that the Patriots had.

7:24 Lizards doing the thriller dance. Don’t know which company but I like it. Oh apparently Life Water.

7:27 Justin Tuck sacks Brady. As an unbiased spectator I mildly enjoyed it.

7:29 I hate Carlos Mencia with a passion. As my friend Bagodaz states, “seven years, zero jokes, the streak continues.”

7:31 Note to the viewers Bill Belicheck just announced that if the Patriots don’t pull away soon, they will use their tape of yesterday’s Giants practice to prepare for the second half. You’ve been warned New York.

7:34 Dubious penalty called against the Giants.

7:37 Eli needs to channel the mature version of himself from the last three playoff games. Right now he’s more like his father….at his current age, not when he played.

7:38 Narnia trailer has me pumped. I think I’m going to be Aslan for Halloween.

7:43 No catches yet for Randy Moss. That’s going to be mentioned ad nauseum during halftime.

7:44 Giants playing swarming defense. I guess no one told them they were supposed to lose.

7:45 Brady gets killed again as he throws it. It’s imperative for the Giants to keep it close so that their defense stays pumped.

7:46 “Tight ends always hold,” says my friend….a former tight end.

7:50 So much for no catches for Randy. Fun fact #2 of the night. Did you know that Randy Moss broke the record for touchdowns by a wide receiver the year after questionable effort to be an average football player for the Raiders. Thankfully everyone has forgotten this and Moss is considered a great player. I for one breath a sigh of relief over this. Whew!

7:51 Justin Tuck gets a sack and fumble recovery. What a beast this fellow is.

7:53 17 drop backs for Brady, 3 sacks and 6 knock downs

7:54 Uh Steve Smith, when there’s a hail mary, try something new, try to catch it. Just for kicks.

8:05- too long: Ladies and gentlemen, 32 years after their debut! Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers! Gotta love whoever is in charge of picking half-time performers. It must have gone something like this:

Tom: Hey Bill, who’s hot right now? Its 2008, who will really get the crowd going? Who will galvanize the audience?

Bill: Well Tom, there’s Fall out Boy, Linkin Park, Kanye West, Justin Timberlake, T.I., Alicia Keys, Chris Brown.

Tom: Yeah…..Bill you’re fired. Chris you’re thoughts?

Chris: How about Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers? They were hot right after the Vietnam War

Tom: Great job Chris! Way to keep your hand on the pulse of America.

8:26 Wes Welker first down

8:27 Maroney 7 yard gain. I don’t like how the Patriots have come out. I think they definitely cued up the video of the Giants.

8:29 My friend just called football “real-life chess”. I think the BBQ ribs got to his head.

8:31 Great stop by the Giants. They are playing spirited

8:33 Shaq is a jockey in a commercial. Hey Shaq, maybe you should do more basketball playing for your atrocious Miami Heat team and less commercials.

8:37 Stupid nonsense rule gives the Patriots the ball back. Chase Blackburn was the 12th man on the field.

8:42 The Patriots were moving the ball until Michael Strahan who used to CHOP DOWN TREES as a young boy with his father sacked him hard. He then proceeded to flex and scare me. The moral as always kids. Chop down trees if you want to be terrifying.

8:47 Rodney Harrison tries to level Toomer and fails. Toomer gets a first down. The cagey veterans are doing it for the Giants! I think I wrote about Strahan and Toomer in my column on Thursday. (Shameless plug)

8:49 I’m so upset. Plaxico Burress is double and triple teamed in the end zone. Throw it under to Toomer! Lo and behold the replay showed Toomer open.

8:51 Manning apparently in love with Burress. Now 4th and 6.

8:53 These Bud Light commercials have been very questionable. The only one that was good was the caveman commercial.

8:55 Tom Brady is getting beat down. But before I even finish this Welker bails out the Patriots with a first down.

8:57 Thank god for Pam Oliver. Apparently, the Giants are rushing in boxes of bananas because the potassium helps with cramps. If she wasn’t on the payroll what would we do?

8:58 Wes Welker coming up huge for the Patriots.

8:59 Tom Brady overthrows his wide receiver and proceeds to yell at him. Nice Tom.

9:02 Chester Pitts! My new hero! Played the obo then went to play for the Houston Texans.

9:05 Everyone at this shindig was quiet as Stewie, Superdog and Charlie Brown vied for a Coke bottle float. We were transfixed.

9:07 Who’s the boss! Kevin! That’s who! Big first down

9:08 Fox then shows the man who Boss replaced, Jeremy Shockey, with beers in front of him. How appropriate.

9:09 Steve Smith gives Randall Gay the old dead-leg.

9:10 My friends are saying that Seau dripped HGH laden sweat on Bradshaw and he gained 3 new muscles.

9:11 TOUCHDOWN GIANTS! AHHHHHHHH! TAKE THAT PATS! David Tyree selling the first jerseys of his career on nfl.com right now. Get them while they’re hot.

9:13 Bongo speaking lots of loud Italian phrases on the phone with his father. We are all rejoicing.

9:15 I’m going to go ahead and miss the Adam Sandler “Zohan” movie.

9:16 Not to overdo it here but this could be the biggest Super Bowl victory in history. The Giants need to keep the pressure on.

9:19 3 AND OUT. That was huge.

9:20 Back to commercials. These companies pay millions for commercials and animals are usually popular. But ETrade’s attempt at using a talking baby for its commercial has been a failure. Step it up ETrade

9:24 Eli made an amazing play and then him and Burress couldn’t finish the play. That hurts

9:25 Three and out. That could haunt the Giants for the rest of the night.

9:28 John Johnson has been the Giants trainer since 1948. Bagodaz says that’s sixty years of taping something that rhymes with halls and ankles.

9:30 Wes Welker is the bane of my existence.

9:33 First down New England. This is terrible.

9:37 I can’t type. This is too much.

9:39 I like when defenders fall down on the most important play of the season. Touchdown Randy Moss.

9:42 Eli trying to become a Super Bowl legend

9:47 I know I’m biased but I think that was a bad spot

9:48 First down

9:51 Eli and David Tyree combine for the most improbable of plays. Wow. The ball was on top of his head. Mind-boggling.

9:53 On the 25 with 51 seconds left. Not a bad scenario when this drive started.

9:55 .40 seconds left and the first down. This is amazing. Steve Smith is crazy.

9:56 Oh my god. This is why I watch sports. 17-14

9:58 28 seconds left.

9:59 25 seconds left. Come on Giants.

10:00 19 seconds left. Sack by Alford. The Giants players look like they’re hyperventilating

10:01 10 seconds left. 4th and 20. Prevent defense please!

10:03 (Why is there 1 second left?)

10:05 GIANTS WIN THE SUPER BOWL! Whose jersey do I get? Will Eli be signed to a 20 year contract? Is Plaxico Burress a psychic? How does 18-1 feel? This Giants team is the greatest in team history.

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